2011 Summer Goals:

- Finish The Book of Mormon

- Go to Washington

-Take a road trip with friends

- Finish Jane Erye and Pride & Prejudice

- Go horse back riding

- Go to a rodeo :)

- Go to the Harry Potter midnight premiere

- Have a big garage sale and get rid of all the things I don't need

- Live, Laugh, Love.

- Summer fling (?)

- Go camping (Over and over again)

-See a drive-in movie

-Have a picnic (Day and Night)

- Go to a concert

Summer and Pain.

Summer is finally here! I am so excited! My first few days of summer have been really crazy! So, on Wednesday it was the last day of school and also, I graduated High School that night. I can't believe its over! Then Thursday was Highlands graduation and also Last Blast, where all the Seniors went to Hollywood Connection and partied till like five in the morning, then on Friday I just slept all day basically, then Saturday I went to Lagoon with Bryn and Sarah! It has been crazy! I hope my whole summer is packed with a ton of fun things!

Also, another thing that has happened, I deleted my love off of Facebook.. I need to get away from him and get over him, plus he has been such a jerk to me! He doesn't care about me anymore, so why should I give a crap about him? This summer is not going to be about him, its going to be about me and its going to be the best summer of my life! I cant wait to go off to college and finally get away from him. :)

This is actually one of the hardest things I have done. It is slowly killing me inside, and its only been a day! Im just worried that he is going to talk to me about it and apologize and I am going to give into him and fall for those green eyes all over again.. You know, movies don't show you all the pain that people go through with love and you don't always get the Happily Ever After. Sometimes you are alone and life isn't perfect. No one ever tells you how much it actually hurts, Its like you would rather die than feel this pain.

Graduating and Love.

I graduate in five days.. I graduate from Seminary tomorrow.. I just can't believe that I am moving out and leaving this all behind. Leaving him behind. I know, I talk about him too much and everything, but its a habit. "Feeling the need to bring up her name in random conversations?" - He's Just Not That Into You.

Well, back to the main topic of this post. Its just hard for me to think that this is all over, I may never see these people again. With some people I am alright with that, but with others, I don't want to lose them. I've lost a lot of friends, and I hate it. I don't want to lose anyone that I am close with. I feel like especially if I lost him, my world would feel empty. There's just this part of me that is screaming "DONT LET GO!" and I just don't want to give up, I really don't. I've never felt like this before.

"So this is love, Hmm Hmm Hmm Hmm, so this is love. So this is what makes life divine. I'm all a glow Hmm Hmm Hmm, and now I know, the key to all heaven is mine" -Cinderella

Is life going to be totally different once I move? What's going to happen? Am I going to make friends in college? Will I have a good time and love it? Who will I miss? And who will miss me? These are just some of the questions that blaze through my mind on a daily basis.

You know, my Best Friend Bryn and I have been talking lately about how when we were little, we thought about our Senior year and being eighteen and what it would be like and we predicted that we would be beautiful, smart, popular, have great friends, a car, and an amazing boyfriend and nothing has really turned out the way we thought it would. I feel like day dreaming can sometimes ruin your life because you get these high expectations about your life and then they don't come true. It's just really tough sometimes.

Well, I better get to bed, I have a long day tomorrow. Night my beautiful readers. XOXO.