Mission Fears:

For a while now, I have been preparing to go on an LDS mission and throughout this whole process I have had my doubts. Now, these doubts could be the adversary trying to get to me and make sure that I don't go out and bring people to the Gospel, or it could be a sign that I shouldn't go; I'm not sure what it is. I am terrified. I am not a good person sometimes, and I make a lot of mistakes. I swear sometimes, I make dirty jokes, watch bad movies, listen to bad music, I can be really mean to people, and my thought aren't always the cleanest. I'm not the most modest at times, teaching scares me, and I am not a morning person and I can be lazy as well. I'm scared that I am going to fail, I don't want to have people be disappointed in me. My parents are so excited, and I can't let them down, I want them to have a missionary. If I backed out, I would feel so horrible for the rest of my life, because I denied my parents that joy of finally having a missionary and being able to have that experience. I can't tell if I am just getting scared, or what. I just know that I am terrified and it scares me that I have come this far in the process and am now scared out of my mind and I don't know what to do or who to talk to. I sure hope I  figure it out soon.