Life is C-R-A-Z-Y

Man, this week has been one of the longest weeks of my LIFE! Today I performed at my Mom's work and I sang three songs for her staff or whatever, so now I have on down, but after that, I have four performances coming up.. On Friday I have a composition show, where I'm singing in a Trio with two other wonderful singers and the piece was written by a good friend and it is a very beautiful piece, its just hard. Ha ha! Then I have my guitar performance where I am singing Blackbird by The Beatles. Then I have my Vocal concert where I am singing Poor Wandering One from Pirates of Penzance, and that is a harder song for me since I am not really a Opera type of singer, but I've been working really hard on it and I have it down. :) THEN, I have my Graduation performance.. AHHH! Yes, that is right, I am GRADUATING! Yeah, its CRAZY!! So, yeah, my week has consisted of learning tons of music and worrying about it.. Ha ha!

ALSO, this Saturday is SENIOR PROM! Yeah, it has been a very complicated process.. First my Best Friend was thinking about ditching and not going, until I begged her to go (you shouldn't miss your Senior Prom or any other life experiences for anything!) so, that happened. Then, the guy that I asked took a week and four days to answer and ended up saying NO, I am still mad at him. But, not I have a blind date with a hot soon to be Missionary! So, its all good! So, I am REALLY hoping that everything goes P-E-R-F-E-C-T on Saturday.

Okay girls, listen up. If you have a boyfriend and you are in 'love', dont EVER stop living your life because he is not with you or he cant be at an event or something. You need to get tons of single, fun experiences now before you get super tied down. DONT STOP LIVING FOR A GUY. End of story.

Mistakes

Have you ever made a mistake? I hope that in each one of your heads, you said "YES", because we are all human and every human makes mistakes.

You see, I have a big mistake that has been weighing me down for about four months.. One of the biggest mistakes of my life and I just can't seem to fix it. I honestly do think that I am the stupidest girl alive. :P

Heres my HUGE mistake: I broke up with the best guy in the world whom I am in love with and he actually loved me. Yeah, now you think I'm an idiot, right? Well, its true! Biggest idiot RIGHT HERE. <--

Heres the thing though.. Sometimes he can be a huge jerk to me, but then he will look at me with his green eyes and I just can't help but love the guy.. I'm a sucker, I know.. I'm gonna be a bad mother. Ha ha! So, I have these back and forth feelings all the time, but mostly, I have the empty, alone, depressed feeling, Yeah, that one sucks. First love never fades away.. (I'm really hoping he doesn't read this.. I doubt he goes on my blog.. Ha ha) Have any of you made that mistake before? What did you do? How did you handle it? I just don't understand why tons of people can get together after cheating, messy break-ups, and everything and I can't. -.- Can things really go back to the way they were? I guess I will just have to be patient and keep waiting for something to happen.. Well, actually fighting for what I want and seeing if I get a result. :) (Thats the spirit!)

i feel like everything happens for a reason though, and I think that this has made us both stronger as individuals and has actually made us better friends and made our relationship stronger. :) So, just remember, whatever you are going through, everything happens for a reason.

I really don't know what to do.. I've fought for this kid more then I have anything.. Its just exhausting. I'm going to keep fighting though. I just feel like its something worth fighting for. "A GIRL WORTH FIGHTING FOR!" :D Mulan.. Yeah.. Well, now I think that I am off to bed to think some more about my mistake.. I should have ended on a better note.. Don't give up on love! <3

Happily Ever After

This Saturday is SPA's Senior dance, and it is called "The Happily Ever After Ball". You have to come dressed as your favorite Disney character; I am going as Cinderella.

This whole theme of the dance has got me thinking about Fairy-Tales (and I've also watched a lot of Disney movies) and its got me mostly thinking about Princes and Princess'. When I was little, that was my main goal: Become a Princess (or a singer), just like basically every other girl on the planet. I wanted to dress up in pretty gowns, go on adventures, dance with a handsome prince, have him save me from the wicked witch or whatever, and then live HAPPILY EVER AFTER. Isn't that the main goal of everyone? Live happily ever after with your true love? Well, thats one of mine. :) But, you know, sometimes I feel like I am never going to experience that.. I mean I have all my friends and family saying "Oh, you will be happy and in love one day" and all that stuff, but they don't really know that, do they?

I have decided that I need to stop waiting for Prince Charming and go out and find him, fight the dragon myself and save him. I've been doing that.. At least I think I have. I've been fighting non-stop, and sure I have moments of weakness where I'm in my room with chocolate ice-cream, and a pile of chick flicks, crying my eyes out, but I don't think I've fought for something so hard in my entire life! I am now starting to understand what people are talking about with this crap. I used to not really believe in love and think that Fairy-Tales where just a movie thing, but now that I have experienced love, I finally understand what all the hub-bub is about! Its amazing! Sure, it can totally rip you apart piece from piece, but its totally worth it in the end! But, thats the real hard part.. THE END.. Thats what we are all aiming for, as I said before. Ugh.. I keep wishing that a magic remote will show up so I can just fast forward my life! But, thats not going to happen.. I have to live through all the crappy bits of my life, because if I didn't experience these heartaches, these moments of wanting to give up, I would never truly know the meaning of "Happily Ever After".

Thats why we have to keep going and never give up, NEVER. If you give up now, then all that hard stuff you have fought through is for nothing and now you have wasted your life. So, don't give up on anything. Love, your dreams, family, friends, school.. Never give up on something you can't go a day without thinking about. Good luck. ;)